2020 and Tech Did Not Mix
Last year, around September or October, I wrote about my 2021 Word of the Year. But, falling in line with all that 2020 was, my website went down and I lost over 4 months of blog posts. This is the one time I am happy my lack of motivation and overall busyness with other things prevented me from writing so much.
But truthfully, after writing about Discipline, I started to feel like maybe that wasn’t my word anymore. I began to hear some other things from God, and I was actually sure that my word moved from discipline to discipleship.
So what did I do? In true Tanisha Rhenáe fashion, I bought some books on discipleship and started to pray. And honestly, my website going down and erasing my posts going all the way back to that Discipline post, I was about to take that as a sign that it wasn’t my word.
But then God made it very clear that I had a few areas in my life that needed some discipline. And those areas are ones that I’ve been struggling with, and I know that only Jesus would be able to pull me through. So I wanted to share some things I am hoping to build discipline in. Let’s start with my physical health.
If you have been around for any amount of time, you know that I love food and I hate exercise. My Word of the Year for 2019 was Health. (the wrap up for 2020 is lost to internet Heaven and probably won’t be resurrected.). And while there were plenty of areas in 2019 that I improved health-wise, my physical health was not one of them. What I did include, I failed miserably at. And to be honest, I still wouldn’t be focused on it this year if I didn’t have to.
2020 Quarantine and Deployment 15
I’m lying when I blame the 2020 quarantine for my weight gain. I’m a homebody. And if I weren’t trying to do my part to save the world from this pandemic, I would still be in my house, away from the world. But hubby had a deployment last year, and it definitely played a part in some depression that made me want to do nothing but eat until he came home. (To be clear, him being deployed doesn’t make me depressed. But me missing him adds to the depression I have already been diagnosed with.)
And let’s continue with the confessions (queue Usher’s album). When I say 15, I really mean 75. Pounds. Sign. So a couple of months after the quarantine started, my body did this crazy thing where I lost my appetite. I wasn’t hungry, and since I tend to get busy and forget to eat anyway, I wasn’t really eating. I ended up losing over 15 lbs. This was great because I could stand to lose the weight, to begin with.
My psychiatrist didn’t tend to think so. And since we were trying to figure out my insomnia, he decided to give me a sleep med that also had a benefit of increasing my appetite. Y’all, this medicine is the devil. It increased my appetite alright. Not only did I gain the 15 lbs back, but I also gained an additional 50. My hunger would hit me shortly after I take the medicine (at night since it was a sleep med), and I would literally not be able to go to sleep until I ate something. And, of course, it was usually something unhealthy.
And it all snuck up on me very quickly. This weight gain happened in a couple of months. I see my psychiatrist every two months, and bless his soul, he could immediately see the weight gain at my next appointment. And I couldn’t even blame it on the camera. But because my sleep was improving, it’s one of those things that you have to decide is it worth it to stay on the meds? Well, we decided it was. So your girl has to figure this out.
So what am I changing? First, I decided I needed to track what I eat. I know I overeat. I make big plates. I always eat sweets. Pasta and other carbs are my favorite. I just love all things food. And while I don’t plan to count calories or anything like that, I wanted to see exactly how much I was eating (a lot, btw!). And while I know I wasn’t only eating when I was hungry, it still shocked me to see how much food I was eating in a day.
I decided to pay for the premium subscription for the Lose It app. One of the benefits of tracking what I eat is that I can also keep a close eye on my sugar intake. I have fructose malabsorption, plus my glucose and cholesterol levels were up, and my doctor warned me that I needed to get them under control. To do that, I switched from white bread to wheat bread and started to eat oatmeal for breakfast. I also don’t remember the last time I had pasta.
I’ve also switched to eating more of lean meats and seafood diet. My love for steak and oxtails are getting pushed to once a month or a quarter. And while Chris just refuses to eat veggies, I am getting back in the habit of having 1-2 veggies with each meal. Along with trying to eat one salad a day. I also add fruit to my oatmeal in the mornings.
As much as I hate to admit this… to lose weight, I need to exercise. But since I still despise exercise, I am only willing to walk. The good thing is, I hang out with some people that love to exercise. One of my friends has offered to go walking with me three times a week. I’m hoping that Chris loves me enough to push me to walk with him at least three other times during the week.
Let’s Do This
I’ll admit, I’m not really all that excited about this. But I know what I need to do when it comes to my health. While I am all about body positivity and loving yourself no matter the size, my weight is starting to actually hurt me. I feel the weight on my joints. My fibromyalgia is flaring up more and more. Not to mention, I always said that if I hit a certain weight, I would start exercising. Well, that was 13 lbs ago. So while I may not be excited, I am about to get disciplined.