Want to catch up on my 2019 Word of the year? Click here.

I hate exercising.

This wasn’t always the case. My first few years after high school, when I was commuting to college, I enjoyed walking. I often went to the gym with friends. I enjoyed using the gym at my apartment after working an evening shift. But shortly after, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and FOR ME, exercising triggered my pain and made me feel worse. So I stopped. And every time I tried, it was painful. Even physical therapy didn’t help. So I decided that exercising just wasn’t my thing.

I love food.

I’ve always loved food. I’m pretty sure; I will always love food. This didn’t matter much when I was younger because I was still naturally on the skinny side. But after I stopped exercising, some of the weight hung on. And the older I got, the more weight decided to stick around. I’m all for body positivity and loving yourself, so honestly, this didn’t bother me at all. No matter what I weighed, I always loved my body. Smaller, bigger, in between it’s still crucial for me to love what I look like.

My body is fighting me.

Thanks to those milk cartons at school, I’ve known since I was very young that I cannot tolerate much dairy.  I’ve stayed away from most dairy, except cheese and ice cream, the majority of my life. But if I have too much, I’m going to get sick and throw it up. My symptoms were different from most people I know that are lactose intolerant, so I wasn’t sure if that’s what it was or not. I remember my doctor saying to stay away from dairy. I don’t recall having any other food-related issues while growing up.

But in 2017, I got sick. I couldn’t keep anything in my system (I’ll save you from TMI). It was triggered by stress, but it forever changed my life. After months of doctor visits and hours of testing, they determined that not only was I lactose intolerant but I also had fructose malabsorption. What is that? Basically, my body struggles to digest fructose. What’s fructose? It’s a type of sugar. What is it in? ALMOST EVERYTHING. It’s naturally found in most fruits and vegetables. We realized that due to the stressful season I was in, somehow, someway my body went into some type of shock and decided it was going to start hollering any time I had dairy or sugar. The pain and cramps we’re unbearable. I lived in the bathroom (sorry TMI), and on a couple of occasions I’ve passed out. Still not sure if that’s because of the intense pain or dehydration, but I no longer lock bathroom doors for my safety when at home. It was a scary time for sure.

After being sent to a nutritionist (thanks to my GI doctor being real and telling me I can’t do this on my own), I realized my diet had to change drastically. We tried Whole 30 before and knew from that time how hard it was to find anything without dairy and sugar. But it was possible, so I adopted a 95% Whole 30 lifestyle. This made a big difference because I was able to avoid all added sugars, high fructose corn syrup, and any other sweeteners. But because fructose naturally occurs in fruits and vegetables, I still had some episodes. But I decided to accept this new life and what I could control.

What Changed

My Word of the Year for 2019 was Growth. And when thinking about my future, I realized I don’t want to scrape by. I knew there was more that I could do to almost eliminate my symptoms. After some prayer, I realized I needed to get truly healthy.

When I talked to God about what that meant for me and what it looked like, I decided that my 31st year was going to be spent on getting and staying healthy. Then I realized, I was given my 2020 Word of the Year: HEALTHY. Here are the areas I want to work on:

– Creating and sticking with a skincare routine (face and body)

– Start some type of exercise routine

– Eating better and reducing my malabsorption symptoms

– Building and sticking with morning and evening routines

– Building and maintaining relationships (God/Husband/Family/Friends)

– Creating and maintaining a healthy home

– Creating better habits overall

My favorite book from this year, The 5 AM Club by Robin Sharma, speaks to Mindset (Psychology), Heartset (Emotionality), Healthset (Physicality), and Soulset (Spirituality). I realized that everything I want to focus on and improve fits into these areas.  Each month, I’ll create goals meant to grow myself in each set and make them a habit.  If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you see that I have slowly started this.  I drink warm lemon water most mornings, I have started to get up at 4:30 am, and I drink a gallon of water most days.  Those are just some of the habits I am beginning to build.  But this year will be full of habits that will continue to allow my growth and move me into being healthy.  Stick around for my goals and updates.

Have you picked your Word of the Year for 2020 yet?  What habits are you trying to build?  Let me know in the comments below!

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